New beginnings

Our bird feeder with "deer protection" around it.

Hello Dear ladies~

I am going to write this post similar to a lovely woman's blog called Laine's Letters.  You may remember her blog posts.  I really enjoyed them and I understand you can find some still at WayBack dot com.

There are so many things that have been happening that this is the easiest way for me to keep updated  here. I hope you are doing well.

In the past few years I have learned to greatly reduce my "social" calendar from mid November until after early January. The health condition I manage worsens from physical or emotional stress and this system is the best I've found to be able to enjoy the holidays without the added burden of "I must" or "but I should" on my plate.  As I age, those words are a distant memory.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving.  My husband and I stayed in a tiny little cabin on a lake about an hour north of us.  We were only there 2 days since that was easiest on the budget but just enough time to have a lovely get away. They had their first snow storm while we were there. It was a little alarming as the roof was made of metal and the snow dropping from the pine trees was loud. But the cozy fire and window facing the lake, no cell phone service and no DVD...only VHS made it a memorable weekend.  The office carried a large variety of VHS and we had fun reminiscing.  

The first week of December we decided to adopt an 8mo puppy from the Humane Society. Where we live that's really the only place to get pets. No stores, and very little breeders. He is a terrier mix, and we didn't know then that they have an abundance of energy.  His name was Bennett, and since we had an emergency the next day with my husband, family came to help and after a few days "Bennett" was already answering to his name, so we chose Mr. Bennett.  (Very different than the last 3 Boxers we've had).

The next morning my dear husband woke me to tell me I needed to take him to the ER.  I haven't known him to go to the hospital for anything in 30 years.  I thought it was the stomach flu so treated him with Charcoal tabs and peppermint tea, but no avail.  So we started at the local surgical ER and after many hours there and a CT scan and ultrasound, he had gallbladder issues.  We were lovingly but firmly sent directly to the larger hospital for surgery.

By the end of the day the surgeon came to talk to me and verified his gallbladder was full of stones.  Though I knew that, we could see them on the ultrasound..they would ROLL inside his gallbladder.  The surgeon was inquiring if he ever showed symptoms because half of this gallbladder was gangrene!  Oh my!  The Dr said any longer and sepsis could have set in. Praise be to God for a specialist on staff for his surgeon that day.  God is so good.  Family came up to help the new puppy, be with dad, and make sure I ate. I am grateful.

It was a few days later I knew the puppy was too much. But we decided to try to keep him. We still have him, but this is the longest it's taken me to recover from anything in a very long time.  I am grateful my husband is well and a clean bill of health and he plays with the puppy and takes him out the most. Again, God is good.  He provides for my needs.

I missed a grandson's Bday and my youngest daughters Bday, but I enjoyed boxing up the gifts and mailing them. And they really enjoyed getting mail with fun balloons and bubbles in their box along with their gift.  I love to give things that are fun!  We don't get enough mail these days, so I have made it a point to mail "gift boxes" of birthday theme things.  I have been know to mail a Bday crown and a favorite cookie with a homemade gift of sorts. With what I get - I love to give.

My birthday came and went quietly.  My husband and I went on a date night and I counted it as my birthday. We saw Little Women in the theatre - matinee - and split a small box of popcorn.  We haven't done that in ages. Then we went for a gluten free pizza, that they charged way too much for, but I saved half and froze it for a movie night at home.  We are so blessed with being able to share together things we love.

In the past week, I have chosen to re-work my weekly plan and am making blogging my once a week enjoyment, hopefully on Mondays.  I am also choosing to stay home more and with the help of my husband we looked at all the things I do and how much energy they take.  I was definitely doing too many things.  In God's Wisdom, He allowed me to make my choices, and now I get to make new ones that give me the chance to go to a women's ecumenical Bible study once a week and still manage our home with energy in reserve.

The other major change I am making is changing my weekly grocery run to every other week.  Since I have limited energy, and by Grace while looking at my week, the idea of getting groceries every 2 weeks was very exciting.  I sang praises to God for this, and when I settled on the idea, I am going to do the health food store 1 week and Walmart 2 weeks later.  I used to do this in Ohio, but were we live now, we are very limited on grocery stores.  The local one that is a big name is also the main one for anyone who comes to town, including tourists, so it gets too busy and too stimulating for my calm nature.  

My word this year that I am focusing on is Joy. My thinking has gotten to wrapped up in my symptoms, my "I can't" thinking and others always asking about "How ARE you?"  But those are questions that focus on symptoms.  I want to focus on the good and recovery.  So I tend to pause a lot more and practice a new way to phrase my words when my husband says "how was your day?", "I stepped outside my recovery a bit, but I'm getting back on track." or "I am making progress thank you".  These help my brain and body to believe and act on that rather than only focus on the negitive. God is all Good, all the time.  So why do I need to focus on or talk about the bad!

Today, we took Mr.Bennett and went on a lovely drive through the next two towns.  Seeing the horses rolling in the snow made me laugh.  And the reminder to play, even in the midst of your day.  So I am off to crochet some chair leg covers I learned from gDonna.com.  She is a lovely women that her and her husband like to do a year living in an older time frame. Her last one was 1949!

May God bless you and fill you with Peace,

Mrs. Peterson

Margins

Afternoon Blueberry tea with real blueberries and whipped cinnamon honey.

Hello Ladies,

With past experience of a very busy holiday season, I have learned fatigue and physical exhaustion set in quickly if I don't keep to boundaries.  I have realized these boundaries are for me, not for me to impose on family.

So far in the past 45 days I have foreseen the upcoming months and said no to many social "extras" I was doing.  Like a lovely women's Bible study I attend when I can, and also a few women from church trying to plan a retreat day each month...even in November and December.

In saying no, my boundaries are pushed by almost everyone.  But I know it's best for me to be able to go through the season with joy in my heart and praising God for Jesus.

A week and a half after Christmas is my birthday, and last year I was so exhausted I didn't want to be around anyone for my birthday. It saddened me, but the mental and physical exhaustion was to great. I only wanted a quiet sleigh ride.  My blessed husband granted me that one wish. And it was beautiful.

This topic brings me back to women of years past.  The ones who I have read about, and who I have heard through those who have lived in the early 1900's.

Women did things with family, and guarded her energy and family time.  It was lovely to travel to spend time with family, but never at the expense of her health or her children. She didn't have the amount of media in her life as we do today, yet she had very clear boundaries.

If we recall for a moment, the times before cell phones and media, the planning that was involved in creating a lovely atmosphere at home.  And the big plans for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.

These are stressful enough, but adding in the media and texting that is expected now, and all the wonderful shows and gatherings,  it creates an added burden of stress.

As a women and mom, I find in my older years, I don't like to add too much to my schedule so I like to create Margins.  If you have never read the book, I highly recommend it.  It gave me insights and "permission" if you will to say No.  To hold to my reasons why, and to know God will bless me in my no.

In my journey with my health, years ago, I heard of a phrase which I still use today: Pigs at a trough.  Using this phrase helps me explain to others my no.  So if there are 3 pigs at a trough and a 4th comes up and pushes his way in, then one of the 3 gets pushed out.  That's just the way it is.

If I am managing meals and my home for my husband and I, managing my health with daily rests and watching the amount of activities I am involved in, I have a little time left for things for me.  If that time is filled with planning and grandchildren then I can't do many errands. If that time is filled with errands and a family gathering then I can't do additional family or social events.

Lets say I have space in my week for 1 major event.  Well, if my children and grandchildren get together, then I say no to lunch with a friend that week.

If there are only 24 hours in a day...we can't squeeze in 26 or 27 just by going faster or more meticulous planning.  We get 24 hours.

This holiday season from November and into December I am using Margins and the phrase "pigs at a trough" to help me navigate through so I can be joyful and grateful.  If I miss out on a few things then that is what I must do so I can remain happy and available for my husband, tend to our home and see my grandchildren.

Wishing you a peaceful November and planning season for Christmas.

Mrs. Peterson

A daily Siesta

I take a rest, daily.  After lunch I rest for 20 to 30 min.  I do it so I can be refreshed for dinner and the evening.

At first I struggled.  My health required it and I still pushed through.  Then Lydia at HomeLiving did a wonderful post on how women always took a daily rest. It was a way to keep spirits up and not be a grumpy person in the evening.  To be refreshed when our husbands come home, or in my case, gets off work.

Now, no doubt, as I age, I need a rest. Even a short one. But when I read through a book called "Take a Nap and Change your life" I was convinced.  It also convinced my husband and when he gets off work, he likes to lay down for a 20 min refresher.

You would be amazed.  Try a little self care and give yourself a 20 min Siesta.

Do you know, we are the only country that does not take an afternoon rest.

When we lived in Okinawa, they took a 2 hour lunch...daily. One hour to eat, leisurely. One hour to rest.

Inspiring.

So, all you women reading this. Try it and let me know how you do in the evening. If you notice a difference in your moods.

It fits with the natural rhythm of our day. God made the sun highest and hottest at noon.  Then as the day starts to close and we have the chance to reflect back on the day and praise Him for our abilities, we can pause and rest before our evening and the day closes out.

As a homemaker my day doesn't end. It starts at 5:30 am and goes until I am doing my "Sacred Hour" at 8pm.  So I relish a 30 min rest each day. Even without kids.

Have a Blessed day!
Dee