Reflections and lessons during Fall prep work

Harvested Sage, last of the season

 As the fall leaves are turning yellow and falling off the trees, I'm turning to my garden to close it down for the season. It reminds me of a time I contemplated the changes in seasons. Fall is the prep time to finish outside chores and necessities before winter.

This prep work, before hunkering down for a few months, is the time God gives me to prepare my heart, to cleanse anything that is not helpful for me or my journey to Him. 

Sage, oregano, and parsley are being harvested as the last of what's growing. With the temperatures in the 20's in the morning, making sure all the wood is stacked and easy to get to is another chore. The fall mum's in pots on my porch will be left as long as they will stand up to the cold.

Morning fires are the norm now though not until after my morning routine of prayers and dressing. Tending to it and keeping an eye on it aren't priority, yet. 

When I am cleaning the garden I feel a sense of gratitude. Remembering all the days I spent watering, hoping, looking to the sky at His vastness in prayer wondering what will grow this year, and what will be 'experience' or learning for next year. 

Colorado has many summers with 'experience' in gardening. Like the year all the plants were stunted to 4 inches until late July. I learned the cold wind that summer kept everything from growing. No harvest was that year. So we put up a fence to block the north wind. 

What keeps me from growing? Lately I am finding I am thinking often about this. Is it the way I speak about others? Is it the way I think, that "I can solve their problems" rather than listening and turning them to the One Who can? Am I finding myself more in a state of frustration and not able to be present to the Lord and listen as I go through my day?

Why is that? What is causing it? 

Often for me, overwhelm and thinking I can do more than is truly possible. This prevents me from staying in a state of peacefulness so I can stay in contact with Him. He is the reason I have my duties and responsibilities, so it is vital for me to learn to listen and follow His lead. 

I'm grateful to be away from the internet for a time. Even these days, my use is limited. I have learned I need to use the internet with intention: make a list of what I need, and always set the timer on the stove (that way I can't just turn it off).

One amazing young lady called the time on the internet mind-numbing time. I don't want that for myself. I want more than that. I want to grow closer to hearing His guidance and I can't do that when my eyes and ears are taking in things that have nothing to do with me or my journey. 

The past few weeks I have also notice the return of clearer thinking, of able to decide things with less stress. There isn't the congestion in my head of all the things I've seen or heard from being online. It's clearer, calmer. 

As I harvested the sage, the refreshing smell of the herb as I cut and hung it lifted my spirits and I couldn't help but get giddy inside. The stickiness of the sage oil to the string, which helps my simple little bow stay in place as it dries. 

Afternoons are sitting in the sun with a jacket and tea, contemplating my day. "From the rising of the sun to the setting, may the name of the Lord be Praised" Ps 113, is my thoughts as I watch the end of the day happenings with wildlife outside. Soon it will be to cold to sit outside, so I am soaking in as much as I can.

What did I do today that would bear fruit for You? What did I say or think that got me on my own wants and will path? What did I learn?  I think that one is the one I am enjoying reflecting on now. Even if what I learned came from a hard lesson. 

What are you preparing your home and heart for as we enter into the late fall/winter season?

Hanging to dry, with a wonderful fragrance.

Nature

 

from braingardening.com

Since the season of Christmas is now officially over, and the new year has come to us, I have been thinking a lot about Nature. 

Nature are many aspects, but the what I've been contemplating on is our nature and also living in the natural rhythms of nature. Today I want to talk about our nature.

I am often found saying "it's just my nature", to be silly or trying to be cute for my husband or even just trying to be organized to stay on top of all the moving pieces of our home. 

"It's just my nature" can also be referred to how we interact with others. 

What if. What if in our journey back to Home (heaven), we are seeking Him and find our nature is not what will actually help us to grow closer to Jesus and ultimately, to live in eternity with Him.

Through the past years, my nature has changed. The health condition I am recovering from has taught me a lot about what my nature has been and how I push myself, or how I 'react' to others rather than 'respond'.

The achiever in me comes from a wound in my childhood that my A was not good enough. This has carried over into my adult life and my home management style, as well as day to day activities. 

Such as, carrying groceries in and needing a drink of water because I have been out in the cold dry wind. "No, I need to get these groceries in first". That has been what my nature has been like. Pushing past what I needed, to meet a goal that is not necessary but rather self-created. Ignoring my own needs for a goal of "first get all the trash, dusting, floor dusted, plants watered and declutter some papers...THEN I can take care of myself (water, snack whatever). Now I see what I need, and taking a break after one or 2 of those. My thinking stays clearer and I have more energy to get through my day. At this stage of life, that is a wonderful benefit!

The idea of looking at my nature and what I chalked up to being my 'normal' has been changed. My nature is changing.

As I've allowed God in my heart in a deeper way and His desire to give Him my heart in a deeper way, I've noticed these types of things about my nature. They keep slowly creeping into my awareness. 

He is like that. Slow, quiet. Allows us to make our own choices or to listen to Him and change. If we plow the field, He WILL show up. He always does when He sees our Trust and our willingness.

I love that about Him.

I want to close with this quote, and contemplating on the idea of what is in our life right now that is burning away the things we don't need anymore. Is it greed, is it a critical tongue, is it the need to always be right, or is it the 'nature' to always put yourself last - even in your needs?

"It is like the way we throw dry wood, green wood, brambles and brushwood on the fire, these materials feed the fire and their nature is changed on account of the action of the fiery furnace!  Jesus acts like that in our souls, if we surrender our being entirely to Him.   ~St Madeleine Sophie Barat"

Wishing you His Peace,

Dee

Your own teacup and saucer

 

from the graphic fairy

A quote I heard this week that I just love. It reminds me to take care of myself in the midst of daily living.

"Keep your own cup filled, then you can give from your saucer" - the unexpected gypsy

She goes on to share how the heart pumps blood for itself first, before it gives blood to the rest of the body. 

Just fascinating.

Have a blessed day.

Dee

Hello Ladies~ I wanted to share some pictures of San Cristo. A small town south of Fort Garland, Co that is home to a famous path of art work. These statues are all from the Stations of the Cross. From Scripture each stop is a stop Jesus had on His way to Calvary. 

The trail goes up a mountain side up to a small, beautiful church. 

Jesus carries His cross

Jesus meets His mother

Jesus is nailed to the cross

Rosaries and rocks with deceased family members names.

There is 14 stations in all, but I didn't get a picture of them all. I hope you enjoy the journey.

Peace be with you,

Mrs Peterson

When more is not enough

 

From The Graphics Fairy vintage pictures.

Hello Ladies~

These are some early morning thoughts from our pastor's homily last weekend. As we enter into Holy Week and Good Friday, I am thinking a lot about this subject.

Books, internet, YouTube, FB, Instagram, etc - more, keep it short to keep attention, fast.

We want more and more, easier and short because we don't have time. We don't want to take time. We have so much to do. We want more.

Adam and Eve had everything, and wanted more.  They were told just not this one tree. That's it. Just one, don't touch it! But they wanted that too, to gain more knowledge then what they had.

Jesus had everything too - and gave it all up for you and me. In the end, all He had was His life and He gave that up too.

Why? For what?

Because God loves you and me so much - He wanted to give us a place in heaven with Him.

He just asks we follow His commandments. To believe in Jesus. And to change from our "old life" to put on a new one. 

This is our journey, daily. To practice living as we are asked. Is it hard? Yes! But the reward is awesome!

The alternative is as Adam & Eve - they had everything and wanted more. They wanted for themselves. 

Jesus had all and gave it up out of love.

Can we do that too? 

This Easter let us contemplate God's love. And when we mess up - Thank Jesus and say sorry. Ask for the fits of the Holy Spirit to try again. 

Blessings and peace be with you,

Mrs Peterson

Nurturing our whole being

image from: graphic fairy

Do you ever find your days or your months have melted together and you wonder where your time went?

Do you ever ponder about developing your intellectual or social side and that's about as far as it goes?

Today I want to present an idea that I have put together from past homemaking journals of many years ago.   Taking notice of these same things from movies such as Pride & Prejudice.

Things like making a plan to develop our whole being. We often hear about our physical goals, or maybe our social goals. But what about our spiritual, intellectual, emotional, mental, social, & physical?

Each of these make up our whole.

I recall scenes from many of Jane Austin's movies that they "take a turn around the room" or garden for physical movement. There are also many times the ladies are practicing their sewing, painting, piano etc. 

These all help us to be more rounded and balanced. I read one time that if we are missing even 1 or 2, we are missing part of who we were made to be.

Now, I tend to focus on my spiritual and physical. I try to work in social, though I am an introvert and I like my quiet time.  So those areas I am weak in, there is great virtue in practicing them as well as make you more interesting in conversations.

The intellectual is one that intrigues me. This can be visiting a museum and listening to talks, such as "the Last Lecture" talks. Or taking a book of great value and make lesson plans for yourself, and even just reading and taking notes so you recall - one of the classics. Lydia from Homeliving has spoken of this many times. 

Notice I do not speak of the latest news or even the latest Instagram or Facebook happenings. There is much controversy regarding those, but some scientist and dr.'s are starting to show our use of these, and excessive internet use, actually lessons our intellectual abilities. We start relying on the internet to do what our brains are capable of, but we want an easy way out.

As you go through and plan your month, then weeks, I encourage you to look at each of these. Which one could you work on this month? 

Let us pray and ask for guidance which one is for you to develop this month

Mine is social. 

Wish you God's peace,

Dee

Reflecting and Contemplating

"Bring me the sunshine in a up - Emily Dickenson"

Hello Ladies,

Each year about this time I start to look back, a review of sorts. Where I grew, what I accomplished, what virtues or shortcomings I need to work on and grow more in, and of course what things around our home I wanted to complete but haven't (yet). 

Along with the new year, my birthday is this week. And I have a tradition that I set aside time on my birthday or the day before, to review. I have a shoe box in the top of my closet with treasures in it. Things I only get out once a year during this week. Things like a crown - to remind me I am a daughter of the King, pictures from a magazine of a lovely woman walking through her garden - this reminds me to do what I love, what fills me with joy, something I've made by hand that makes me smile, and a few other little personal things along with a notebook. 

The notebook has some of the similar questions listed above, but I write them out and reflect. I make a cup of tea, have a wonderful treat and sit in the quiet to remember, and look forward. It's about answering the question: Am I growing? Am I doing what makes my insides excited? Am I fulfilling my role as a wife and homemaker? Have I put to good use my skills as an artist? What do I want to work on, specifically, this year?

There are so many vintage books, lessons and blogs of traditional homemaking that give me encouragement, but I found this just a couple days ago and wanted to share:

From On Living Simply - The Golden Voice of John Chrysostom

 

"Commerce in itself is not bad, indeed it is an intrinsic part of God's order. What matters is how we conduct our commerce.  The reason why commerce is necessary is that God created human beings with different ambitions and skills. One person is a good carpenter, another a good preacher, another can make crops grow in the poorest soil. Thus each person specializes in the work for which God has ordained him; and by selling his skills or goods he produces, he can obtain from others the goods which he needs."

When I read this, it moved me. I could see God's plan for our exchange of goods and talents. That each of us has a gift that is necessary for God's plan. To be able to get our "needs fulfilled". Our needs, not our wants. That is my goal this year is to discern each of my purchases as a need vs a want. To see if I am using our resources wisely, as in Proverbs, or foolishly. We are captivated online and drawn into purchasing things we really didn't intend. That topic is for another article.

John Chrysostom goes on in the next post to write about something near and dear to my husband and I. One of the main reasons I am still a homemaker with an empty nest, so to speak.

"In a family the husband needs the wife to prepare his food; to make, mend, and wash his clothes; to fetch water; and to keep the rooms and furniture in the house clean. The wife needs the husband to till the soil, to build and repair the house, and to earn money to buy the goods they need. God has put into a man's heart the capacity to love his wife, and into a woman's heart the capacity to love her husband. But their mutual dependence makes them love each other out of necessity also. At times love within the heart may not be sufficient to maintain the bond of marriage. But love which comes from material necessity will give that bond the strength it needs to endure times of difficulty. The same is true for society as a whole. God has put into every person's heart the capacity to love his neighbors. but that love is immeasurably strengthened by their dependence on one another's skills." 

Written somewhere around 390 AD.

This tells me my role as a wife is necessary as a part of the whole. And that depending on each other's skills, out of love, is part of God's plan for us. Thankfully I don't have to "fetch water", and I don't make his clothes - of which he is very grateful. But I do look to "the ways of the house". 

Even if your husband is gone, the house and family still need you. We need to tend the washing, dusting, cleaning, food, and using our creativity in some way for enjoyment and for the good of others. 

I hope you have found this interesting as I did. To see this written so very long ago and how true it is even today, really could use some reflecting. This is what I will be doing this week. Reflecting on how I can be the woman God created me to be, not the woman society or friends say I should be. That leads to confusion and a heart that is not aligned with the Peace offered to us by the One who loves us most.

Peace be with you,

Mrs. Peterson

"When we human beings let go and embrace the new, when we flow with the seasons, and merge with the same basic rhythm that tells the geese when to go, we hear things beyond sound, and feel things beyond touch, and a kind of serenity settles over our spirits."

~Jean Hersey, The Shape of a Year

In times of marriage distress - Helen Andelin's words

All of us, no matter what our walk of life is, have bumps in our marriage.  My grown children thought we never argued, until recently one of them was sharing her marital struggles. When I told them "Dad and I argue, just had one yesterday" she was overcome with shock and just couldn't believe it. She was comparing hers to what she "thought" ours was. Perception.

Our marriage is wonderful, thanks to many principles I have learned through the years, but the occasional bump still happens.

I am reminded of these wonderful words of the late Helen Andelin who wrote Fascinating Womanhood.  If you have ever wondered how to go about your distresses, I urge you to check it out.  It truly does work.

from Graphics Fairy

"I wish I could let every woman know how wonderful marriage can be, more wonderful than you can even imagine. It is like having a bit of heaven here on earth. And the amazing thing is that although it does not guarantee a life free of problems, the teachings of Fascinating Womanhood, when applied, keep love kindled and burning throughout all of the ups and downs of life. The fire of love burns out the dross and refuse. And the more difficult life is, the more purified and intense love in marriage can become.
If you have been in deep distress over your marriage situation, you may need some training in how to deal with suffering before you can live Fascinating Womanhood successfully. No man wants a depressed, down hearted, miserable wife, so you may have to do the impossible and learn to be happy in your own soul before you can apply Fascinating Womanhood to its fullest. There is a way that never fails, so please give careful attention: The way is to turn to your Heavenly Father for strength. He will never let you down. You can be happy in spite of your difficult situation, as in the lines taken from a comforting hymn, a hymn in which the Father is talking to you:


How Firm a Foundation
Beginning with verse 3:

Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, bless thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.


When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.


When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee, I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.


The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell shall endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake! These lines are sobering but remember, once you are connected to the Spirit of God so you are happy in your own soul, it will be fun to live Fascinating Womanhood. After awhile the depressed feelings will leave, you will be walking on the clouds and your husband will adore you. But remember, you have to live it. You can’t just read it. You can’t just believe it. You have to live it, all of it. But if other women can live it and attain these heavenly rewards you can as well."

Have  a Blessed Day!

A daily Siesta

I take a rest, daily.  After lunch I rest for 20 to 30 min.  I do it so I can be refreshed for dinner and the evening.

At first I struggled.  My health required it and I still pushed through.  Then Lydia at HomeLiving did a wonderful post on how women always took a daily rest. It was a way to keep spirits up and not be a grumpy person in the evening.  To be refreshed when our husbands come home, or in my case, gets off work.

Now, no doubt, as I age, I need a rest. Even a short one. But when I read through a book called "Take a Nap and Change your life" I was convinced.  It also convinced my husband and when he gets off work, he likes to lay down for a 20 min refresher.

You would be amazed.  Try a little self care and give yourself a 20 min Siesta.

Do you know, we are the only country that does not take an afternoon rest.

When we lived in Okinawa, they took a 2 hour lunch...daily. One hour to eat, leisurely. One hour to rest.

Inspiring.

So, all you women reading this. Try it and let me know how you do in the evening. If you notice a difference in your moods.

It fits with the natural rhythm of our day. God made the sun highest and hottest at noon.  Then as the day starts to close and we have the chance to reflect back on the day and praise Him for our abilities, we can pause and rest before our evening and the day closes out.

As a homemaker my day doesn't end. It starts at 5:30 am and goes until I am doing my "Sacred Hour" at 8pm.  So I relish a 30 min rest each day. Even without kids.

Have a Blessed day!
Dee

My Word this year

You will love the stories of this Pastor.  Humor is one of his gifts!
http://myoneword.org

A couple years ago I had heard of having a "word" for the year.  Being the curious type, I asked about it and the ladies group I was with explained: It's a word you choose, after prayer and discerning, that will be your guide this year.  The belief is that God will use your word to change you or teach you in the ways that will help you grow closer to Him.

The "word" I have had the past few years were: Balance, Trust and this year is Serenity.

Choosing Serenity, I had my plans of how I hoped God would build Serenity in my life.  Well, He has had other plans.

I have been keeping my eyes open for all the different ways God speaks to me about peace or serenity. It can happen while on the internet, while reading Scripture, the radio, even the local newspaper.

Here is how Serenity is showing up for me so far this year:

*Keeping serenity in my heart while doing my housework, rather than trying to race or beat the clock.
*Letting my grown adult kids make choices I don't agree with, trusting God will guide their life as He has done mine.
*Looking at my heart and my desires that I believe God guides me, and letting others opinions roll off my back.
*Leaving a few minutes earlier and arriving with time to spare.
*Looking around my home and my life at that things that weigh me down or cause guilt. Outa here!

I am a weak woman who gets distracted.  I always want what I want, NOW.  This year is about keeping my Serenity and asking God to handle that which is not mine.

Along with trusting Him, He has a much better outcome than I can even imagine. I see Him building on my "word" from last year.  Trusting Him.  It's hard. I want things done, I have a plan. He has His.

Lord, keeping me centered and filled with Serenity.

Sounds like my "word" next year might be Humility.

Peace be with you and may you have a lovely day,
Mrs. Peterson

Created

Hello Ladies~

I have just finished the book Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl.  While her writing is harsh, but there are some highlights that are wise.  Here are a few lessons I have learned or have been reminded of.

First, my husband is Mr. Steady. In the four types of men she has defined, my husband is Mr Steady.  This was an amazing insight for me in my relationship.  Mr. Steady is a man who is created steady to bring peace and safety to a woman's soul.

I used to tend to push or react to wanting him to decide sooner than he is taking the time, and I react to what I want done.  It always ends up that I try to "fix" the consequences of my behavior.  Debi states - we need to learn how to sit still and listen and to let God move my husband in His good time. Pray for your husband to have wisdom.  Let him be the one God made him to be: Still, Quiet, Thoughtful...for you!

So to keep my eyes off him and how long it takes him to decide - she states a Steady man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet grow in her own right before God.

Grow in my own right! For me, that's develop skills, have an opinion about events and such, give my opinion - WHEN ASKED- about situations regarding him. (Not nagging.)

Mr. Steady is usually liked by everyone and "belongs to the people".  I see this as how he gets "filled".  Such as, my husband is in training and discernment to become a Deacon in our church.  My job is to support him and walk with him, not pull him away to be mine only.  When the time comes for us to get away, Debi states to ask him to leave the cell phone behind so it's just us.

Second, "A Proverbs 31 woman is not mousy or a voiceless prude".  I have had to learn to speak up.  My natural voice is very quiet (except when I get mad).  He can't read my mind, nor should I expect him to.  I must find that balance between being aggressively opinionated and speaking with respect my wants/needs and my opinion (again when he asks for my opinion) regarding the situation at hand.

Third, Admire him, Respect him. And TELL him so.
Watch my words! for it is so easy to tear him down and for him to misinterpret what I said.  Some examples she gives are:
    *Do you feel comfortable spending that much money on that? (This causes him to begin to doubt his ability to make wise decisions.)
     *Honey, I need to ask you something very important that really tears me up inside.  Doesn't this activity you are engaging in grieve your spirit? (The Spirit of God had been prompting him concerning this, but he was trying not to hear; he almost brought up the subject himself last evening but now she is disappointed in him. He suspects he is not spiritual, but somehow the whole thing makes him angry.  He feels pushed. Now he resists her just to maintain control.

Always ask: "so what did you hear me say?" and ask him to repeat it.  When he is done you can clarify, but again, do so with respect. Not jumping in to correct him or tell him he is wrong.   You will be surprised as to what he actually hear.

In an argument and in anger~ your first concern is to discern your part of the problem.
     ~How did I contribute
     ~What were my motives
     ~if they were ill, then I owe amends. If they were pure, did I speak disrespectfully.

Men are more sensitive than we think.  Speaking with respect is from Ephesians.

Remember to learn to think  speak well of all people. Guard your mind and heart and get your hands busy! It keeps the devil and his lies at bay.   Memorize Phil 4:8.

I hope some of the things I have learned may help you.  I have been married over 27 years, and I am still learning.  It's a journey, and I am just a pilgrim.  Learning to stay close to God and willing to admit my weaknesses and faults. Men are so different.  Mrs. Pearl has given some lovely tidbits to discern for me.

May God's peace be with you,
Dee
   

An ancient proverb says, “If you desire to know what your thoughts were yesterday, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be tomorrow, look at your thoughts today."

I love this.  Our thoughts are so powerful.  Scripture says to think on things that are lovely, true & pure.  Thinking on that and having those thoughts show my body how to be calm, true and pure, would bring me peace.

I struggle with worry, but I know worry is not in today. 

Speaking

from Graphics Fairy

Recently I read about guarding our speech and found I have been thinking about it a lot lately.  The article used an acronym to help remember it: TKN.

True, Kind and Necessary.

Before speaking am I using this mini-inventory, if you will, of what I am about to say.

Is it true: or gossip, hearsay, exaggeration, opinion or supposing?
In conversation with my oldest daughter about family situations, do I participate in the "assumptions" and hearsay of what is being told, or do I just listen and say "it could be but since I don't know the what's true and real, I can't really comment on that."

Usually I jump in and feed into the conversation, until I find my emotions are running high and my words are also.  This always leads to a short temper and I bring that to my home environment. Even my prayers turn to what I want, so my feelings will be calmed.  When the truth is - I haven't spoken to or know for sure, so I have to say a prayer right there and give it over to God.  He knows what is happening and I don't need to expound on all my opinions.

My loving husband listens to my "dumping" on him when I get caught up, and by grace, just listening he allows me to see my actions being led by my assumptions.


Is it kind: it may be true, and still do not need to say it. Is it hurtful, critical or a putdown?

My husband and I had an amazing conversation about this recently.  Just because I know what someone at church said about a friend, doesn't mean I need to repeat it, to anyone.  If I feel I will burst unless I tell someone, I need to look at my motives and ask Jesus to help me. Usually I am looking for acceptance to say something that doesn't NEED to be said. Or being critical I am putting me "higher" than the person I am speaking of/to.


And finally is it necessary: am I repeating my explanation? is it more important than silence?

Oh my greatest weakness.  Repeating, repeating, and saying it again...even if the other person has heard me, I just need to tell it AGAIN.  Why!?  When I look at my motives I am usually looking for acceptance, a discount, a deal, or plain ol' I want something! So hear me!

For instance. I was just on the phone with the woman that owns this amazing little frilly woman's shop north of me in a tiny town up in the mountain.  I had seen a pink scarf with little sparkles 2 weeks ago when I was there and I really want to get it.  I have a green one, but the pink adds color to my black coat in the winter.  (And matches my flower on my coat!)  I explained I was there, and what I saw and where it was.  She asked me to send a picture of the one I have...but I had to tell her again when I was there and where it is.  Why!?  Because I have my hopes set on this cute scarf. I want.

A scarf!  My priorities just entertain me sometimes.  I am human, and oh so grateful for Grace.

I have since detached and am working on adopting the attitude of "if it's there it was meant to be, if not, may God bless the woman who wears my scarf...I mean that scarf."

I do this so frequently, I know I do it and still do it.  So I have prayed and asked for God to help me with this.  It's working. His Grace is allowing me to see my words before I speak to allow me to pause and re-asses.


This is one area I am working on. I find as I see a weakness, God is trying to bless me with ways to work on it. So He showed me Ephesians 4:29-32.

"Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion that may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor (shouting vehemently) and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

This came in a book I was reading about 2 days after learning TKN.  I sat with this and broke it down, I encourage you to as well.

While it's easy for me to get caught in the negative, I work to follow the Peace of God and say what is  the blessing, what can I work on that is good? Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving.

I am mostly focused on using TKN with in my conversations with my husband.  Am I lifting him up, or tearing him down.  Am I pointing out what he has done, again! or am I choosing to let it go and ask How Important Is It?  Is it worth his self-esteem? Not usually.  The many blessings I have gotten and seeing a happy husband more frequently is a blessing itself for my hard work.

Christ's peace be with you,
Dee

Update: I just got a phone call from the shop owner.  She has the scarf and is giving it to me for $5, including shipping!  What a blessing of trying to change my weakness. God is awesome!

Inspired to be myself

Bluebird of Happiness

"Make everyday special by your just being you"

                       ~Mister Rogers

To not make planning my idol

When I list out all the things I want to do in a day, or heck, even in the week or season, I just can't make it work.

I am the Queen of a new schedule, or searching the 'net' for new routines.  I enjoy seeing others ideas. But the bottom line is - I always come back to what works for me.  What's at hand right now.  And that doesn't include counting every 30 min in my day.

God happens to put things in my path and my whole "perfect" schedule - every 30 min increment I had planned - gets thrown off.  "Toss that schedule." "Need to write a new one." "Where's that one schedule that I was on top of my morning. That one will work. I just know it."

Only to try that one for a few days and then that one goes out too.

By God's Grace, I have come to see it's not the schedule. It's not having a way to squeeze in my day all the Household To-Do's, Rest, Crafts, Prayers, Cooking, Reading...not to mention personal - shower, exercise or a lovely bath.  I've tried.  On Paper (and computer). Hundreds of times.  Even tried to fit blogging in from 9:30 - 10.

Guess what? It doesn't work.

I've tried not living with a "schedule" too. I have many friends that don't even have a list.  I've done the "pray for the next right thing", that lands me on the internet for 2 hours! Only to feel like a failure because I got lost in the 'net'.

By grace I see guidelines - not absolutes. Forgiving myself and being grateful for the interruptions.  Not focusing so much on a schedule which is all I think about.  Leave flexibility. Believe me, I have been an absolute girl most of my life.  But being a seasoned homemaker - I have learned what's absolute and what's nice to get done.

I read recently about not making planning my idol.  I don't remember the blog I read it on, but I was again searching for a new way.  "Maybe someone has come up with something that will work for me."   Don't get me wrong, I love to search for ideas.

But the whole point is that my planning, and all the details that go into it, becomes my focus.  My idol.  Scarey.

There is my trap.  Someone's plan to work for me.  What about listening to my needs and my families needs. What about stepping back, finding the peace and looking at my pattern. Don't get me wrong, reading & seeing others plans inspires me to see what works for me.

When I sat down and wrote out  my basic absolutes: prayer time & journaling, exercising, rest, reading, cooking & prepping 3 meals, and having a short prayer time with my husband in the evening - there really isn't 12 hours that I can squish in all my wants for the day or the month. No matter how good it looks on paper.

Hence, I looked at this idea of making my planning my idol.  I had become so focused on planning to "get it all done" that I forget to Breath.  Have you ever heard that Christian song - Breathe?

I am now looking at planning as a whole and as a general blueprint, or guidelines.

It feels like I get so caught up in all the blogs and all the ideas, all the possibilities --- I get overloaded and forget to live. To listen. To Breath.  And to stop letting fear drive me.  Fear of failure if I don't get all my Household in's and out's on paper so I can manage it all.

To love God is to Trust. (My word this year). There is rhythm to the day: an active morning, a calming as the afternoon slides into evening.

There are seasons that God made. He created. We can get back to following those natural rhythms and "Listening".  That is my hope.  I still have a To Do List, always will.  But I don't sit for hours planning, decorating and making every thought about the next plan, or next month.  There is a season to do crafts and a season to garden. A season to sew or learn my autoharp.  There is a season to be active and one to rest.  Scripture speaks of this.

This change in perspective has helped me to weed out all the wants, all the absolutes and "my Plan".  Trying to plan out everything only leaves me feeling chaotic and in desperation trying to find God.

Breathe. Look for your rhythms, and plan, but be watchful it doesn't become your idol.

A Not To Do List

Near Silverton, Co

How many days do I wake up and think of all that needs done, all that I want to do and also try to ask what do You want me to do?

I find many days I have a "15 item to do list" and I know I can only do 3.

I recently heard some great wisdom on K-Love radio- instead of making a to do list today, make a NOT to do list.

Each day make a list of what not to do, and give some space to be able to listen to the Lord.

He speaks in the quietness, not in my "15 things to do" in a "3 thing day" craziness.

I love to walk in peace and be able to Listen.  Today my Not To Do is not fill my afternoon tea time and reading time with "chores". I will take time to refresh before I start dinner, even if that's a 15 minute quiet break listening to the wind blow.

Peace be with you,
D

Tea Cup Exchange

Hello!  I am so excited to share of a wonderful Tea Cup exchange I got to participate in.  Below is the amazing gift I got from Denise.  She was so thoughtful and I love all the wonderful things.

Tea Cup Exchange hosted by The Enchanting Rose

This is the 10th annual Tea Cup exchange and though I had just heard about it, it was so much fun.  I shopped for the woman to receive my gift at the local antique shop.  The ladies there were so excited I had 3 of them hunting for a small silver spoon and doilies.  They even let me in before they were open, to help me hunt!

I must say, my favorite is the book Tea Time with God.  It is all about an afternoon break, with God, and resting and rejuvenating before the evening hours.  The amazing teacup and tea have been a wonderful treat to use while reading it.

And you see those cute note cards...she made them! WOW!

Thank you so much for stopping by.  I love the idea of a teacup exchange, even if it's with someone at church or a couple neighbors.  I'm learning that women don't give themselves "permission" to enjoy the little things in life, like a beautiful tea cup and a quiet moment with God.

Cutivating Happiness

In recent days I am reading "The Joy of Living" by Orison Marden and the chapter that has caught my attention is called Happiness can be Cultivated.

I am so moved by this that I have pondered a lot about what he writes and am starting to put this into practice.  I have already seen a difference.  Let me share a bit with you.

Early on in the chapter Mr. Marden writes: One of the most difficult lessons of life is to learn that we are largely the product of our thought.  This got me to thinking of the phrase I've heard "Change your thoughts and you change your life" and "Changed attitudes can aid recovery".  Mr. Marden goes on to talk about how the brain CAN change.  Even if we were brought up with "stinkin thinkin" as I like to call it, we can practice and choose to look for the positive or happiness in daily events.

It's hard, no doubt.  But possible.

I love this thought that Mr Marden writes:

 "It is a curious fact that most people think that while they are obliged to spend many years preparing for and developing a specialty in there careers, happiness, which means more to them than almost anything else, should be a haphazard development that it should come with practically no training, no special study, while everything else in life is worth while requires such infinite pains.

It is a great thing so to cultivate the art of happiness that we can get pleasure of the common experiences of every today.  The happiness habit is just as necessary to our best welfare as the work habit or the honesty habit."

The habit of complaining, criticizing, grumbling, or wallowing is unfortunate.  And while most naturally tend to lean on the negative, it is of great virtue to practice looking for the blessings and happiness in things.

Our hearts get lifted and before we know it, happiness is the product of our work.

Today, as I said, I am practicing this.  We lost our beloved little dog Koda 2 weeks ago, and the same day my husband injured his back.  Now, with my physical healing still and limits, this was a lot to take in. I found myself over tired, overwhelmed and sadness kept trying to take over.  I found myself in sweats and wanting to give in to the sadness.

Then I read this chapter.  Um, finding happiness?? In the loss of my dog, and my husband injuring his back (and I had to drive all the time for about a week).  I struggled, so I turned to my husband and asked.  How? How do you do this?

My husbands says "Well, Koda is not in pain anymore.  He was very ready to go.  And my back, well, I get the chance to live a much slower pace of life and give praise to God for the days when my back is great.  There are many people who live with this."

I was stumped. Why couldn't I see that?  So I have made it my work.  To cultivate happiness.

Today I found I was in a lot of pain and wanted to stay in sweats all day. I did too much yesterday and my body is letting me know it. (Also learning to cultivate a slower pace of life)  But as I lay there resting, all I could think of was a pact I made with myself.  No sweats or lounge clothes from lunch on.  No matter what.  I am to get dressed and do something that makes me feel pretty.

Wow! What a shift in my thinking and attitude!  I immediately got up, showered, dressed, did my hair, and even a spritz of my new favorite perfume. And with it I have been able to look for the happiness in my pain and discomfort.

Making lunch for my husband and me.

You see, in my change of clothes, my thinking started changing and rather than focus on what I can't do or how much pain I'm in, I have been practicing looking for what I can do.  Like practice my new hobby of silk ribbon embroidery, or read the rest of this chapter, or sketch out some ideas of craft projects I am wanting to make, or even get the little crochet Easter baskets done for my grandkids.

I see happy faces in the oddest places, but they always make me smile.

You see, I could cultivate happiness.  But it starts with making the choice.  For me, today, that choice was to stick to my pact of no sweats by lunch.  (I usually change after my walking in the morning) And always make sure the laundry is hung to dry by lunch.  If I do those 2 things, it shifts my attitude.

We almost have a duty to ourselves, to our spouse, to our kids, but most of all to God to cultivate happiness.  To find ways to chase off the negative and give Him praise for all His gifts.

I will close by this quote from Abraham Lincoln (who I have learned in recent years is a relative!)

                "Most people are only as happy as they make up their minds to be" 

Whatever is pure, lovely and true

Seeking shelter from the rain. 

"What danger is there if you don't think of any?" Thoreau

I have been pondering this for days.  I am working my way, slowly, through Walden and I came upon this.  He was speaking of those who worry.  Worry about sickness, worry about others...what ever we may think of that is not right now.

If we don't think on those things, we can change our thinking to "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure and whatever is lovely." Phil. 4:8

Think about that for a moment. I have.  What ever my mind is on, what ever future worry or future conversation, or whatever is not right now...is a worry.  And I am missing what is happening right now.

Thoreau's writings on being present to what is going on right now, the sun rays through the trees, the visitor that happens to drop by.  He is present in that moment.

As my journey to listening to Him and "balance" continues, I am learning to be in this moment.  To be mindful of my thoughts and to practice or choose to think on those things that are pure, lovely and true.