An ancient proverb says, “If you desire to know what your thoughts were yesterday, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be tomorrow, look at your thoughts today."

I love this.  Our thoughts are so powerful.  Scripture says to think on things that are lovely, true & pure.  Thinking on that and having those thoughts show my body how to be calm, true and pure, would bring me peace.

I struggle with worry, but I know worry is not in today. 

Speaking

from Graphics Fairy

Recently I read about guarding our speech and found I have been thinking about it a lot lately.  The article used an acronym to help remember it: TKN.

True, Kind and Necessary.

Before speaking am I using this mini-inventory, if you will, of what I am about to say.

Is it true: or gossip, hearsay, exaggeration, opinion or supposing?
In conversation with my oldest daughter about family situations, do I participate in the "assumptions" and hearsay of what is being told, or do I just listen and say "it could be but since I don't know the what's true and real, I can't really comment on that."

Usually I jump in and feed into the conversation, until I find my emotions are running high and my words are also.  This always leads to a short temper and I bring that to my home environment. Even my prayers turn to what I want, so my feelings will be calmed.  When the truth is - I haven't spoken to or know for sure, so I have to say a prayer right there and give it over to God.  He knows what is happening and I don't need to expound on all my opinions.

My loving husband listens to my "dumping" on him when I get caught up, and by grace, just listening he allows me to see my actions being led by my assumptions.


Is it kind: it may be true, and still do not need to say it. Is it hurtful, critical or a putdown?

My husband and I had an amazing conversation about this recently.  Just because I know what someone at church said about a friend, doesn't mean I need to repeat it, to anyone.  If I feel I will burst unless I tell someone, I need to look at my motives and ask Jesus to help me. Usually I am looking for acceptance to say something that doesn't NEED to be said. Or being critical I am putting me "higher" than the person I am speaking of/to.


And finally is it necessary: am I repeating my explanation? is it more important than silence?

Oh my greatest weakness.  Repeating, repeating, and saying it again...even if the other person has heard me, I just need to tell it AGAIN.  Why!?  When I look at my motives I am usually looking for acceptance, a discount, a deal, or plain ol' I want something! So hear me!

For instance. I was just on the phone with the woman that owns this amazing little frilly woman's shop north of me in a tiny town up in the mountain.  I had seen a pink scarf with little sparkles 2 weeks ago when I was there and I really want to get it.  I have a green one, but the pink adds color to my black coat in the winter.  (And matches my flower on my coat!)  I explained I was there, and what I saw and where it was.  She asked me to send a picture of the one I have...but I had to tell her again when I was there and where it is.  Why!?  Because I have my hopes set on this cute scarf. I want.

A scarf!  My priorities just entertain me sometimes.  I am human, and oh so grateful for Grace.

I have since detached and am working on adopting the attitude of "if it's there it was meant to be, if not, may God bless the woman who wears my scarf...I mean that scarf."

I do this so frequently, I know I do it and still do it.  So I have prayed and asked for God to help me with this.  It's working. His Grace is allowing me to see my words before I speak to allow me to pause and re-asses.


This is one area I am working on. I find as I see a weakness, God is trying to bless me with ways to work on it. So He showed me Ephesians 4:29-32.

"Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion that may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor (shouting vehemently) and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

This came in a book I was reading about 2 days after learning TKN.  I sat with this and broke it down, I encourage you to as well.

While it's easy for me to get caught in the negative, I work to follow the Peace of God and say what is  the blessing, what can I work on that is good? Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving.

I am mostly focused on using TKN with in my conversations with my husband.  Am I lifting him up, or tearing him down.  Am I pointing out what he has done, again! or am I choosing to let it go and ask How Important Is It?  Is it worth his self-esteem? Not usually.  The many blessings I have gotten and seeing a happy husband more frequently is a blessing itself for my hard work.

Christ's peace be with you,
Dee

Update: I just got a phone call from the shop owner.  She has the scarf and is giving it to me for $5, including shipping!  What a blessing of trying to change my weakness. God is awesome!

Inspired to be myself

Bluebird of Happiness

"Make everyday special by your just being you"

                       ~Mister Rogers

To not make planning my idol

When I list out all the things I want to do in a day, or heck, even in the week or season, I just can't make it work.

I am the Queen of a new schedule, or searching the 'net' for new routines.  I enjoy seeing others ideas. But the bottom line is - I always come back to what works for me.  What's at hand right now.  And that doesn't include counting every 30 min in my day.

God happens to put things in my path and my whole "perfect" schedule - every 30 min increment I had planned - gets thrown off.  "Toss that schedule." "Need to write a new one." "Where's that one schedule that I was on top of my morning. That one will work. I just know it."

Only to try that one for a few days and then that one goes out too.

By God's Grace, I have come to see it's not the schedule. It's not having a way to squeeze in my day all the Household To-Do's, Rest, Crafts, Prayers, Cooking, Reading...not to mention personal - shower, exercise or a lovely bath.  I've tried.  On Paper (and computer). Hundreds of times.  Even tried to fit blogging in from 9:30 - 10.

Guess what? It doesn't work.

I've tried not living with a "schedule" too. I have many friends that don't even have a list.  I've done the "pray for the next right thing", that lands me on the internet for 2 hours! Only to feel like a failure because I got lost in the 'net'.

By grace I see guidelines - not absolutes. Forgiving myself and being grateful for the interruptions.  Not focusing so much on a schedule which is all I think about.  Leave flexibility. Believe me, I have been an absolute girl most of my life.  But being a seasoned homemaker - I have learned what's absolute and what's nice to get done.

I read recently about not making planning my idol.  I don't remember the blog I read it on, but I was again searching for a new way.  "Maybe someone has come up with something that will work for me."   Don't get me wrong, I love to search for ideas.

But the whole point is that my planning, and all the details that go into it, becomes my focus.  My idol.  Scarey.

There is my trap.  Someone's plan to work for me.  What about listening to my needs and my families needs. What about stepping back, finding the peace and looking at my pattern. Don't get me wrong, reading & seeing others plans inspires me to see what works for me.

When I sat down and wrote out  my basic absolutes: prayer time & journaling, exercising, rest, reading, cooking & prepping 3 meals, and having a short prayer time with my husband in the evening - there really isn't 12 hours that I can squish in all my wants for the day or the month. No matter how good it looks on paper.

Hence, I looked at this idea of making my planning my idol.  I had become so focused on planning to "get it all done" that I forget to Breath.  Have you ever heard that Christian song - Breathe?

I am now looking at planning as a whole and as a general blueprint, or guidelines.

It feels like I get so caught up in all the blogs and all the ideas, all the possibilities --- I get overloaded and forget to live. To listen. To Breath.  And to stop letting fear drive me.  Fear of failure if I don't get all my Household in's and out's on paper so I can manage it all.

To love God is to Trust. (My word this year). There is rhythm to the day: an active morning, a calming as the afternoon slides into evening.

There are seasons that God made. He created. We can get back to following those natural rhythms and "Listening".  That is my hope.  I still have a To Do List, always will.  But I don't sit for hours planning, decorating and making every thought about the next plan, or next month.  There is a season to do crafts and a season to garden. A season to sew or learn my autoharp.  There is a season to be active and one to rest.  Scripture speaks of this.

This change in perspective has helped me to weed out all the wants, all the absolutes and "my Plan".  Trying to plan out everything only leaves me feeling chaotic and in desperation trying to find God.

Breathe. Look for your rhythms, and plan, but be watchful it doesn't become your idol.

A Not To Do List

Near Silverton, Co

How many days do I wake up and think of all that needs done, all that I want to do and also try to ask what do You want me to do?

I find many days I have a "15 item to do list" and I know I can only do 3.

I recently heard some great wisdom on K-Love radio- instead of making a to do list today, make a NOT to do list.

Each day make a list of what not to do, and give some space to be able to listen to the Lord.

He speaks in the quietness, not in my "15 things to do" in a "3 thing day" craziness.

I love to walk in peace and be able to Listen.  Today my Not To Do is not fill my afternoon tea time and reading time with "chores". I will take time to refresh before I start dinner, even if that's a 15 minute quiet break listening to the wind blow.

Peace be with you,
D