Last Wednesday was my birthday, Whoa! It was a mile marker as some are lovingly calling it. I'm calling it the start to the second half...the next chapter.
After finishing a 4th step inventory (many of you know I'm in Al-Anon) I have been given the grace to see into myself. The good, the bad, and the space in between. With my birthday, I am celebrating the good, while reviewing and remembering daily I am a good person. God created me to love and be loved. I am a daughter of the King of Kings, and He loves me! I have found my values. I have found the woman who has been lost for years, and along with that, the anxiety of how in the world to make changes using 2%, as my dear loving sponsor is teaching me.
The grace to see within myself the bad. The thinking that I am not worthy of taking care of myself or putting my needs and wants out there to tend to. The grace to see how I have been treating myself. All from the years of growing up with an alcoholic, my thinking has been skewed. Some of my belief's just evolved from circumstances, some from things I was told.
But as my dear sister has put it on This Day...this day I am a good person who loves to give of myself to others - I just have to learn to do it without losing myself. My focus this day is on me, learning about me, understanding what it is to take care of me, and how to have fun all over again. Today, I am letting others keep their problems, emotions, and schedule's for it is not mine to manage or fix. Today, I am celebrating the next half of my life. And there will be change, for I am created by God and I deserve to know I am worthy!!
Today, This day...I am loving me!
The more I read the Bible and learn, really understand, the person Jesus Christ, I am learning He lived in a state of loving and caring for others but with detachment. He took care of himself first (going off to pray, sleeping when he needed it) yet He gave of Himself to anyone that crossed His path and ASKED Him for help. That is the eye opener for me. They asked. He did not go out and search for people to help, or get in their business and tell them how they could better themselves. He healed, He taught, and He loved all with those who came to Him. What an example to live by.
I am grateful for God sending His son to teach me, and to tell me I am worthy just because I breathe!
May God grant you peace...This Day,